Wednesday, March 23, 2011

a year ago today ..

Hey baby! Sorry it's been a few days again. I have been super busy with you! I don't know if it's because your teething or just going through a growth spurt but your constantly hungry and cranky! Daddy and I are exhausted. But today is a very special day for your daddy and i. A year ago today we found out i was pregnant with you. We were very scared at the time. I even cried for a few days. But not because we didn't want you Sophia, we were just scared. We both had a year left of school, & no jobs. I think that was what worried us the most. We wanted everything to be perfect for you. I was mostly afraid to tell my parents. And it was hard news for them and took them a few days to come around but they supported me through everything and love you so much now! They have helped us out so much to make everything perfect for you, just how we wanted it.

I remember the day I found out like it was yesterday. I think at the time I knew I was pregnant just didn't want to accept it. My body was telling me I was. I was late on my period, sick all the time, slept any chance I could get and my breasts were hurting SO much. AND I had dreams about a baby. One dream I was holding a little baby boy and your daddy came home and was like let me see the baby and I wouldn't let him hold the baby. And I just remember holding and starring at this baby. The next dream I had was a little scary. I was laying on a raft in a pool and I was only like two months pregnant (how far along I was when I found out I was pregnant) and someone came with this long metal thing and stabbed me in the stomach with it. I went to the hospital and gave birth to a baby and nothing was wrong with the baby. I don't know just weird dreams. And they were all about a baby boy.

A year ago today my roommate at the time Brittany and I went to the student health at Ruby Hospital in Morgantown. It was raining and I went right after my morning class. I even remember what I was wearing. I signed in and they asked me why I was here. I got nervous and said "Birth Control questions." They called me in and I went back there and she asked me what was wrong and I said, "I just want to take a pregnancy test." I had taken two a few days before and they said I was pregnant but I told myself they were cheap and wrong. I went back and took the test, waited a few mintues and the nurse came into the room.

I was so nervous and so glad Brittany was there with me. She came in and said, "Well your pregnant" I just started crying and crying. I was so scared. And now I wish I would have just been happy and enjoy it. I should have just accepted it. But at the time I wasn't thinking about the beautiful baby girl I would have months later. The one that I will get to love and kiss and watch grow! I was just thinking "What am I going to tell my parents" The nurse talked to me about "options" I could take if I didn't want to keep my baby and also what to do next if I did. I was so scared and didn't know what to do that I listened to both options. I wish the other option never would have crossed my mind. I just didn't want my parents to hate me. I should have known they'd be there for me.

We left and I called your daddy. I was crying and I think he knew. I just said "I'm pregnant" and he didnt say anything for the longest time. Then he asked if I was ok. I was, just scared. We talked about stuff and about what we were going to do. I am so thankful that your daddy is so understanding and loves me. You are a lucky girl Sophia to have him as your daddy. The next few days and weeks were tough for mommy. I was just trying to figure everything out. I had a saying that helped me get through everything. If God brings you to it, he'll bring you through it. I told myself that everyday. He def. got me through everything Sophia. He gave me you for a reason and knew I could make it. He wanted to show me I was strong. He wanted me to be your mommy! & I thank him everyday for giving me you.

And now your here with us. Your 5 months old now!! I can't believe it! It's gone by so fast. I feel like I was just finding out I was pregnant. Your growing up so fast! You had your 5month "birthday" on Sunday. Since mommy is on Spring Break I got to spend it with you :) I put you in this pretty little dress & we just spent the day together playing and loving on each other. It was really nice out so I took out for some pictures :)

The next day {Monday} we packed up everything and was ready to head to your daddy's for the week for Spring Break. I packed SO much. It took us a while to get going because you were a little cranky. I really hope it's just your poor little teeth coming through. But it gets to where I want to cry. But we stopped by the daycare to say bye to your grandma. She cried so much. She didn't want me to take you. She loves you so much. I hear her saying "Sophia, I love you so much, your my life" I don't think I ever heard her say that to me. But you slept the whole way to your daddy's. He was so happy to see you! :) We've just been hanging out in his room. He still has class and practice so I try and keep you entertained in his room while he's gone. And When he gets back, your all his. Here are some pictures of you two playing together! You love him so much!

We went for a mini walk yesterday and I have just been trying everything I can to make you happy while your teeth hurt. Ive been letting you chew on frozen fruit and carrots. And of course all your chew toys.

Last night we got to visit with baby Kinsley! She is so pretty! I was nervous about taking you over there because you had been so cranky that day & it was pretty late. But they were leaving the next day and I really wanted to see her and her mommy! We stopped by last night after we fed you. Bad idea, you ended up spitting up all over the couch! I felt so bad. & you also spit on Kinsley's mommys face. Your bad. But your daddy and I got to talk with her parents while you two stared at each other! Then I think you both got sleepy. We'll get together again so you two can play and see each other more. Here are you two last night. She is 3 months younger than you!

We came back and you slept pretty good last night. You haven't been too cranky today. I've been trying to keep you very busy! I even put you in front of the window so you can watch all the stuff going on outside. You loved it.

You are napping with your daddy now. I am going to get off here and clean up a little. We've destroyed your daddy's room. I'm going to talk him into going on a walk with us. It looks pretty outside. Maybe I'll write to you again tonight. If not, I'll talk to you soon. Hope your not in too much pain because of your teeth. Mommy loves you!

No comments:

Post a Comment